During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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