I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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