I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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