Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
