friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She even gives head with a lisp.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
