When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Too much gin, very little bucket
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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