belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
