Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
