She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just blew my weed a kiss
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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