I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize