she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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