At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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