I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
