Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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