OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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