I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
