yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
