Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
