I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
