Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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