it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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