i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
