she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
