Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
