I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
