How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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