I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
