The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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