smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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