After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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