so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
