I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
