i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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