that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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