forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
