I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
