plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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