when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
