theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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