I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize