I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize