I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
