So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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