Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
