she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
