If i come over, it means nothing
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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