bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
