I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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