So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
