Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
