he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
