I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
