VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
