why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.