Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.