I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.