i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
