So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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