Im at strip club and am horny
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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