Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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