Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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