finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
