I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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