when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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