Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
